Last night was rough. Right now is still rough, but less than it was. Went out and picnicked on the capitol lawn with multiple friends, old and new, then sang my head off and cheered the marvelous firefighting bagpipers as they came through. Started hearing horrible news (idiot networks calling things ridiculously early), so piled into a car with meimichan
and her lovely husband and went off to a friend's local. Multiple other wonderful folk were there, and there was commiserating and crying. Had one drink - sorry for the spillage, Meimichan, but I was sharding well trying to hand your other half the money I owed him - then realized that between the bar noise and the news, I couldn't take the gap. Got home, thank you Jason. Cried a lot. Said some rather dramatic but hopefully harmless things on twitter, mostly blasting Walker's religious claims - I know, I'm not classy. Cursed out Walker, Barrett, and the Koch brothers. Talked to Mariah, Meimichan, and Mom, which I needed. Offered to lead the solidarity singalong if Chris needs time off. I meant it. I'll totally do it; I'm a showman (show woman? dramatist, anyway), I love that stuff. Ate something, then farted around on the MW band for a bit; kept thinking at least I still have radio. Fell asleep with the headset on my head.
Woke up an hour or so ago with Windsor, Ontario in my ears. Now avoiding the hell out of all news regardless of outlet, which is unusual for me, but I can't take the details of the smug bastard winning. Found out that John Lehman took the Senate seat in Racine, flipping the Senate to Dem control. Blessed the man. Continuing to do so. Blessing Racine voters equally. Also my lovely, compassionate friends, my ever-classy, level-headed Senator, the excellent journalism of Al-Jazeera, and my family. Many blessings on all of you.
I'm not okay, but I'm better than I was last night. I'm not okay yet, but I'm beginning to suspect that the trick is possible. I feel like I've been hit by a team car, but again, I'm less shattered than I was last evening.
The fire hasn't gone out, that's for darn sure. This. is. not. over. Not by a longshot, Walker you weasel. You and your tables-and-lamps* sidekick have not won.
And Mahlon Mitchell? I'm still hurt, but I have not abandoned you. Not even close. Maybe Barrett wasn't the right man for the job. Okay. I still respect you both immensely, on the basis of both politics and character. But Mahlon, my personal emotional investment still lies with you over all. You're still Sisko, sir, and even he took defeats - look at DS9. He took it back, in the end.
One. day. longer.
I may go home to marsh country here for a couple days. I'm not sure. We're going to work out details today. I need to see my family, even though they may call me overdramatic for that reaction. I just sharding need to see them. They're made of sterner stuff than I, and I know this. I just... need to be around them for a day or two. I've got a proto-essay floating around in my head that I may begin to set down while there. It's overtly apolitical, though if anyone sees a covert hint of 'no, you cannot sharding divide this' in the subtext, they'll be right.
Wiunion lives on. We. are. not. done. We. will. not. leave.
Bless you, John Lehman, Senator John Lehman of Racine. Bless you.
I'm going to be a bit scarce for a couple more days. I need time to grieve, pick myself up and start moving forward again. I will do so, don't worry about that. I just need a day or two to decompress. Hence the potential marsh country trip. I really hope that works out. I just wanted to let people know that I'm if not okay, then slowly moving in that direction. I haven't done anything too stupid, I hope to God - dramatic tweets are the worst I got. I took it hard, but I'm not broken.
I've got a little of my family's stern stuff in me after all, apparently. What was it they said about iron-jawed angels in 1919? ... Okay, that made me smile. Yeah, I'm not okay, but I will be.
I love you all.
I need a shower. Back later.
*Our lieutenant governor's been quoted likening same-sex marriage to marrying tables and lamps. You can't make this goushi up. Sorry, Becky, but I don't go for furniture.